Hugo Chetcuti’s influence on Maltese nightlife is undeniable. Hundreds flock to his nightclubs in St Julian’s every weekend to blow off steam after a stressful work week (or not!) or just to have a good time. Chances are that if you stop by Hugo’s Terrace on a Friday or Saturday night, you’ll meet some of the clubbing archetypes listed below.
1. The Selfie Queen
As far as she’s concerned, dancing is for schmucks. She’s here to up her Instagram follower count by another 50 by the time she totters home, or so help her God. Watch out for her posing, phone in hand, with an expensive bottle of Smirnoff near the bar that she probably nicked off some poor sucker after blinding him with her flash that is waaaaaaaaaay too bright.
2. The Messy Drunk
Mascara running down their cheeks, one earring clinging on for dear life and the desperative, furtive look in their eyes as they spin around searching for their friends who left (read: abandoned) them at least an hour ago. Usually sighted in close vicinity of The Crying Girl.
3. The Bragger
He’ll strut in with a posse of his mates acting as though he owned the place. To impress women, he’ll act like he knows Hugo Chetcuti in person and hangs out with him every Sunday afternoon. Usually ends up with the Selfie Queen at the end of the night.
4. The Wallflower
Hands up whoever’s guilty of this one. You’re dressed to the nines, make up applied perfectly and ready to party the night away but once you get in the club – panic sets in. All of a sudden you develop two club feet (pun unintended), a sudden inability to remember the difference between left and right and the grace and poise of a bull in a china shop. The only time you leave the bar is to pee and step outside to see if your lift home has arrived.
5. The Prima Ballerina
All the world’s a stage and for all she cares, she’s the only player. She’ll usually arrive with a circle of her besties but as soon as her favourite Gaga hit comes on she’ll morph into Natalie Portman from the Black Swan and go it alone. Five minutes later, her male counterpart will be doing his best impression of John Travolta from Saturday Night Live. Poorly.
If you can’t beat them, join them.
Swing by Hugo’s Terrace in Paceville at night, and see how many of these kooky characters you manage to spot. Experience one of Malta’s most exciting night spots with live music and the island’s best DJ’s, all courtesy of Hugo Chetcuti. Don’t be a wallflower – come and join the party!
